Thoughts

Hi there! It’s been the longest time since I wrote.. I know, and it doesn’t make me feel good!
But here I am, after all this while, randomly penning typing my thoughts down 🙂

Well, for starters, it’s been a very hectic 3 months for me. The CA journey doesn’t end after passing the final exam. It begins after the result, I’d say!
The post-result period not only invoked celebrations, but also plenty of self-talk, analysis and career planning. Trust me, it’s one of the more difficult tasks in life. It takes a lot to be honest to oneself and a lot more to have the courage to actually do what one likes!
So here I am, finally free (at least for now :p) from all the what-do-I-do-with-my-life muddle, having slightly more perspective about how I want my life to be 🙂
So I have got myself a fairly decent job (bye bye broke days) and now the ‘adult-feeling’ is finally sinking in – bills, payments, investments and what not! Work does keep me very busy most of the time, and hence, the no writing bit. But that is going to change for good 🙂

What urged me to write today, was a random chain of thoughts about how we take everything for granted and choose to be unhappy!
It all started with this status message that a friend posted on Facebook:
“I can’t believe that the last time we had Maggi was the LAST time we had Maggi!”
As absurd as it may sound, it actually got me thinking! Don’t we do this every time? Yes, I laughed..but this was some serious stuff! Do you know if the last time YOU met someone was actually the LAST time you met them? Or if the last time you went to some place was your LAST there? Or whether the last time you did something was indeed the LAST time you did that?? Sounds freaky.
It made me realise how I take so many things for granted! I take my family, friends and all my comforts for granted!
I crib about my job and work hours..but there are so many people out there who are waiting to get a job, but can’t find one! I do argue with my folks and get angry with them over the smallest thing. But then, how lucky am I to have such a beautiful family! To have people I can go back to, at the end of the day..to have people who’ll always have my back..to have people who love me unconditionally, and to whom I must choose to return this love 🙂
It got me thinking..that maybe when Steve Jobs said that we must live each day as if it’s our last, he didn’t really mean that we should be irrational. But rather, that we appreciate everything that we have and be grateful for all of it! To love everyone and treat everyone well..for we never know if it is indeed our LAST time with them. Maybe when we regret, it’s not really about things that we did not do. I guess it’s more about all the things that we have done, without knowing that it was our LAST chance and that we can do nothing to change it ever again!

Phew! That was some heavy thinking. But I feel happy at the end of it – I wrote!
I don’t know if I expressed myself well enough, but I tried!

This much for now.. But until next time, (choose to) be happy! 🙂

Life and Death

The tired eyes looked around
Hatred and darkness was all they found
To be alive again, was his only cry
Was it that difficult a task for God, he’d always sigh

“You can stay here or get back your life;
But be wise, for your decision can end in strife
The world is here for you to see with your eyes
Be careful, for what you see may be less of truth and more of lies”

The tiny eyes looked around expectantly with a spark
Had the world lost its light? Or was it really so dark?
What made the man kill another man?
Had they forgotten each other while each for his ambition ran?

Crumbling was the relationship between mother and child
Here was a world where nobody was nice and no one kind
All he could see was battle scars
Everything was mine, nothing was ours

The weary eyes still looked about
In case a deed of goodness, they could manage to spot
A choice they had to make on that night
But all they could see, was dejection and fright

There was an option, there was a choice
But deep down inside, he heard that one voice
“Do not pity the dead, pity the living”, was all He said
“Do you wish to live a life that you already dread?”

This is a poem I wrote for The Rotaract Club Of NM College (RCNM’s) October bulletin – And So They Said..
The theme of the poem is based on the quote – “Do not pity the dead, pity the living”, from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I hope you liked it!

Photo credits : http://www.mallady.wordpress.com

Unanswered Questions

Years, following years, steal something every day.
At last they steal us from ourselves away.
~Horace

I’ve always wondered if life after death is peaceful. What does it feel like to die? Is it painful? Is there a life after death? Is it a happy or a sad experience? If it indeed is a happy experience for the one who is dying, then why do we cry in case of death?

Isn’t death a part of life? Isn’t it supposed to be an extension of our journey of life? Is it true that death is a sacred event through which our soul departs from the body meets the almighty..the higher power? Isn’t it a liberating experience? Then why do we fear death? Why is it dreaded by everyone?

If the soul departs our body when we die, then why do people still cry while cremating the body? Are we selfish because we don’t want our near and dear ones to die? Or are we plain attached? Do we remember our life after death? Will we remember our close ones after death..our parents, children, family and friends?

Do heaven and hell exist? Are people happier after death or does it feel better to live? Will our souls really turn into stars after we die? Do we die when we want to, or does God just take us away? If life is so beautiful, then why must we die?

Most importantly, we cry when our near ones die..but we seldom appreciate their presence when they are around. We ask for forgiveness after someone dies, but why not when they’re alive? We reminisce when we realize that someone will never come back to us again. But why not cherish every moment when they are right there with us?

Death is a mystery, isn’t it? An intriguing one, at that!
We all have so many unanswered questions about death. We will all experience it one day.

But maybe, it will have gotten too late then…

Morn after morn dispels the dark,
Bearing our lives away;
Absorbed in cares we fail to mark
How swift our years decay;
 Some maddening drought had drugged our souls,
In love with vital breath,
Which still the same sad chart unrolls,
 Birth, eld, disease, and death.

 ~ BHARTRHARI, “Against the Desire of Worldly Things”.

(The above piece is dedicated to my dearest grandfather who passed away today morning. I know he’s in a happier place, so I won’t cry. I’m sure his soul will rest in peace.)

There is no life, there is no death.

The path of future, no God has set.

This is a place where you find all blood

only the rivers of tears, here, flood.

He banged the door shut with forceful aggression like never before. He was angry, he was mad.

He had failed, yet again. Doubts started creeping in, this time. Did he really want to do this?
Every passing second brought along with itself a myriad questions to his head.

“Dinner is ready. Please eat something”, his wife barely managed to squeak. Glancing at her menacingly, he thundered, “Get lost.” She immediately left, teary-eyed.
He was left alone with his thoughts, once again. The thoughts were slowly eating into him, his life, his conscience. The guilt seemed to resurface. He shouldn’t have taken that decision. This was ging to be tough. He had questions to answer – to himself. Questions, the answers to which were now long due.

Silence is sometimes louder than screams.

Every human, so inhuman seems.

The life of another has no value for them,

there is place only for hatred to stem.

They took away his father when he was barely four. Took away? They killed him. Brutally, right in front of his eyes. It would never be the same for him again, he seemed to know. The wails and the ladies’ cries had begun to annoy him. He was intently thinking- he had observed how that man had slit his father’s throat with utmost celerity, while another stabbed him in the back. It looked so easy to him. Of-course, at the age of four, he was fascinated.
Courage inspired him. He could envisage the people’s eyes when they’d see him. The very feeling gave him a high. That is how his journey began- from a petty goon, to a gangster, and now the strategist of an international terror group.

Every story must begin at a place.

Every person has his dream to chase.

The choice that man, for himself, makes

Puts the lives of a million others at stake.

He woke up, startled. He hated sleep, and despised dreams. Dreams, to him, meant visions of his father’s death. Gathering himself, he immediately started working on his next ‘project’.

An uphill task awaited him. Target: 1000 people to kill. If not more, nothing else. The last time, he had failed. This was a test for him. An acid test. He could not afford to lose this time. He’d lose not just his life, but also his dream..his purpose. He worked hard. Days passed. Weeks, too. To kill, was his job. His duty. His belief. He would prove himself.

Courage is that cold blooded swine.

Sometimes, it will let you shine.

Its not anout religion, its not about race.

What matters is, how fast your dreams gain pace.

It was the day of judgement. The day to prove himself to those who had questioned him, his ability, his dreams. But there was a vaccuum inside his head. It felt strange to him. He felt empty. He was nervous. Yes, nervous. He knew not, why. There was panic, for he couldn’t let this happen to himself. He COULD, and he WOULD do it. He had experience to fall on, if not luck.

However, self doubt was soon getting the better of him. He was sweating profusely. Had human emotions ever troubled him so much before? He couldn’t answer himself. All he knew was that something inside him was stopping him from doing it. Maybe, innocent young lives were at stake.

Was it humanity? He went blank.

HEADLINES TODAY:

MUMBAI CITY RIPPED BY BOMB BLASTS AGAIN. 5 SERIAL BLASTS AT EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS ACROSS THE CITY. DEATH TOLL RISES TO 912. CITY PARALYSED.

…it never was humanity.

It was only desire. Desire, to achieve his dreams, to achieve his goals.

Desire to be ruthless, to be courageous.

Desire, to do his duty well.

Desire, to kill.