Not without my daughter

He slapped her so furiously that she fell on the floor, weeping inconsolably. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t possibly be true. She was quivering and her lips had begun to bleed.
She sat there, on the living room floor, sobbing away. Her tiny frame looked tinier when she cried. Who would have said that this was one lady who had just heard the best news of her life? Who would have said that here was a woman who ought to be celebrating the happy news with family and friends? But here she was, abandoned in her own house, left sobbing with a face so beautiful, that it looked divine even as it bled.
She was baffled, and hurt at the same time. She thought he would be happy when he heard it. She thought he would pull her in his arms and thank her for the good news. She thought she knew him.

Tears can be both – of sorrow and of joy
Life can play with us and use us like a toy
Life plays its game in a way so sly
In the end, we are just left behind to sit and cry

“It is either me or that girl”, he said to her so coldly that her heart froze. She was expecting their first child. The tests couldn’t possibly be true. It was a girl. A GIRL!  He was furious. She knew it.  But his nonchalance had shocked her, completely.
A million emotions were churning inside her stomach at that moment. Her eyes were moist already. How could he ask her to choose between him and…her daughter? THEIR daughter! She was angry. She was hurt. Hadn’t he always loved her? She had never seen this side of him – brash and cold. How well educated he was! How could he still think so narrow-mindedly? Wasn’t she a woman, too? If he could love her, then why was it so difficult for him to love his daughter?

So many questions we have to live and face
The scars of life, nobody can erase
Decisions are always difficult to take
Our choices can help a million destinies make

She sat silently and recollected about how she had grown in an orphanage. Her parents had abandoned her, apparently. She knew how it felt. She had always looked forward to being a mother. She had always wanted a baby daughter – her small, innocent and beautiful princess. The little doll she would pamper with all her love. She had always dreamed of how she would give her daughter all the love and care in the world – something that she, herself, was not fortunate enough to get. She wanted her daughter to live the life that she had never lived herself. She had always wanted a daughter. A daughter she would know too well.

Dreams most certainly don’t always come true
We always wonder how time came and when it flew
Courage is a habit that bites us hard
But does it matter, if we fail to play the right card?

The long silences at home had begun to trouble her now. It was almost a month, and he still hadn’t arrived after ‘that fateful day’. She was tired and drained. She missed him. She missed being loved by him and his family. She missed being loved at all. There wasn’t a single day when she hadn’t cried. How did things take such a bad turn? She had to make a choice. But what about her daughter? The little innocent life – so pure and unaware of the cruel world she was going to be born in. How could she be so unfair to the little one? How could she kill her own daughter? How could she betray her own unassuming child?
She was unsure if she could live without him. She didn’t know if her own happiness was reason enough to kill the child. 
She slowly closed her eyes, as she lay on her bed, waiting to face another day.

the next day..

HEADLINES TODAY:
25 YEAR OLD WOMAN JUMPS OFF 9 STOREYED BUILDING IN MUMBAI. REPORTS CONFIRM SHE WAS ONE MONTH PREGNANT. HUSBAND IN POLICE CUSTODY. 

suicide note said:
I love you…
…but not without my daughter.

Photo credits : Vision Photography.

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7 responses to “Not without my daughter

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